Other Side of the River
Is it Worth the Intimacy?
Graham and I met at a mutual friend’s Halloween party in 2009. I was Amelia Earhart and he was Bruce Springsteen. It didn’t take us long to hit it off, and we soon found ourselves smooching on top of our friend’s garage.
Fifteen years later, and we still like to smooch each other. I am thankful for our commitment to each other, our ability to focus on the positives, and our teamwork.
When we do argue, 99% of the time it is about housework. Neither of us love chores and organizing, so our house gets messy and it's stressful to live in a crowded mess.
When we get stressed about the housework or projects we have started but haven't finished, I remember the book, Empowered Wife.
The author suggests using the phrase “Is it worth the intimacy?” That phrase helps put things into perspective when you're deciding whether or not to bring up something to your partner. It has heped me a lot in knowing when to stop talking or asking for something. It also works when Graham brings up something trivial, like the way I put dishes in the drying rack.
I can ask him, “Is it worth the intimacy?” That question makes us laugh and we move on.
So before you lose your shit on your partner over something minor, consider the question, “Is it worth the intimacy?”
That phrase has a 100% success rate in our home.
Other useful phrases we use from that book are "It's not like you to......" and "If I say yes to you, I am saying no to myself."
Relationships can be difficult and having a few phrases to use as tools has been really helpful to me. Do you have any phrases that have helped you navigate your relationships?